


Shattered Trust

by applelyn_madoka83



Category: haikyuu
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eating Disorders, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self Confidence, Self-Hatred, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28864518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applelyn_madoka83/pseuds/applelyn_madoka83
Summary: I originally wrote this in my Haikyuu Angst Stories, then realized it had a lot of potential to become a story.TW!!ED (eating disorder)SH (self harm)please do not read if you are sensitive to any of those topics.
Relationships: Inuoka Sou & Shibayama Yuuki
Kudos: 7





	1. Friendship

"Have a nice day Sou!" Inuoka's mother called as he stepped out of the car.

The atmosphere was filled with anxiousness and tension as basically billions of first years scrambled all across the school, 2nd and 3rd years standing near the school gates, helping the new first years with their new class schedules. Inuoka didn't need help finding his classes, he basically knew them by heart already. 

Stepping into the school, Inuoka realized that he didn't know his schedule by heart anymore, pulling out his phone, he nervously flipped through his photos, trying to find his schedule, he pulled up the picture as he decided to find his locker first. Inuoka started to walk towards his locker, and it wasn't a really big locker either and it reached to his knees too, besides he was too distracted to notice a shorter boy making a scene trying to reach the lock at the top of his locker. 

"Uh...hey can you help me reach the top of my locker?" Inuoka looked at the shorter guy and realized that he couldn't reach his locker due to his height, compared to him, he was at least 5 inches taller than the ravenette. '𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘶𝘩' Inouka thought "Uh, how about we go to the main office so we can switch lockers, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU'RE SHORT!!" Inuoka stammered, awkwardly shaking his head, the black-haired male laughed a little bit, "sure thing, lets go." 

On their way to the front office, Inuoka peered down at the boy who had just gone silent, "hey, what's your name?" The ravenette peered back up at Inuoka, "S-Shibayama Yuki." "Inuoka Sou..." Inouka said a little bit hesistant, he thought Shibayama's name was adorable, and that he really hoped that he shared some of the same classes with him too. 

Stepping into the front office, Shibayama immediately started to do the talking, "hello Yunohama-san, I was just wondering if me and Inouka could switch lockers because my locker is at a height where I can't reach it easily, and his is where I'd prefer my locker spot to be." "Well, I can do that for you two, just go to class now, the opening ceremony starts soon and you DON'T want to be late." Mrs. Yunohama said sternly, gently pushing the pair out of her office before going back to her desk and clicking away. 

"So um, see you around Inuoka," Shibayama said softly before he bowed slightly and quickly walked away. Bedazzled, all Inuoka could do was head to his classroom right as the bell sounded. The opening ceremony was quite uneventful with the Headmaster blabbing away on all the boring rules and regulations, almost dozing off, he was immediately snapped back awake when he heard the mention of club activities

Club activities was something Inuoka always looked forward to, especially at the end of the day. He had already set his mind on volleyball, something that he had enjoyed since he was in his 5th year of primary school. When the Headmaster signaled the end of the Opening Ceremony for the first years to choose and select their club activities, Inuoka basically bolted to the sports section, his attention fixed on the volleyball section. 

Walking to the booth, he immediately grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen and signed a form, it quite simple, all he had to do was fill it out and turn it into the office, simple as that. After turning it into the office, he went to his first period class, which was intensely boring, Inuoka wanted to fall asleep. 

But finally at the end of the day, he could go to open gym for Volleyball. Walking along the long halls of Nekoma, Inuoka watched some other students coming and going before he stepped into the gym, it was a large gym, and he wasn't alone. 

"Hey, first year, are you here for the open gym?" A guy, presumably a third year said, he was quite intimidating, with messy black hair and a medium build, "yeah." Inouka said slightly nervous, but he was reassured with a familiar voice besides him, that other first year! '𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯?' Inouka thought, "a-ah Shibayama-san, I didn't know you'd sign up for volleyball too." 

Shibayama scratched his head, "me either, I just wanted to join this club because I played it in elementary and a little bit of Junior High, but I quit in my 2nd year." '𝘊𝘳𝘢𝘱, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦?' Shibayama thought, Junior High was something Shibayama wanted to forget, something that he never wanted to experience again. "Quit? Did something happen back then?" Inuoka questioned, "I-it's nothing, can we please change the subject." Shibayama stammered, turning around he quickly walked over to some 2nd years who were near the volleyball nets as Inuoka was left dumbfounded and confused. 

"Huh?" Inuoka was about to head over to Shibayama to talk to him before he was interrupted by the loud booming voice of a Coach, "First Years, welcome to open gym, I'm Coach Nekomata, glad to be your new potential volleyball coach." Coach Nekomata bowed slowly before another man stepped up behind him, "I am Coach Naoi, and I am in charge of the warmups and exercise drills, lets get started ya'll!" There was a brief applause before Coach Nekomata forced everyone to start doing laps around the gym. 

"Good luck Shibayama-san!" Inuoka gleefully said before running past him, Shibayama grinned back, "you too Inouka-san!"


	2. Welcome to the team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY WE GOING SO FUCKING FAST

Making his way down to the gym the next day, Inuoka saw that Shibayama was already inside the gym, it was the big reveal, who was gonna make it on the team and who wasn't?

The same 3rd year greeted them all at the door followed by a shorter male with dark roots and blonde tips, he was quite focused on his game as Inuoka had never really gotten a good look at his face before. "Alright first years, get in a line, and you'll start with stating your name and position you want to play if you make it on the team, got it?" The 3rd year said firmly, the remaining first years on the starting line up nodded in agreement before the 3rd year spoke again, "Kuroo Tetsurou, 3rd year, captain/middle blocker." 

"Kai Nobuyuki, 3rd year, vice captain, wing spiker" "Yaku Morisuke, 3rd year, Libero" "TAKETORA YAMAMOTO, 2nd year, WING SPIKER AND ACE" "Fukunaga Shouhei, 2nd year, wing spiker" "Kozume Kenma...2nd year...setter." '𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳, 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵' Shibayama thought, looking at the lineup of first years, there were 7 people there, but there was only at least 3 spots open. '𝘖𝘩 𝘣𝘰𝘺, 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘐𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘬𝘢, 𝘐'𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵...' Shibayama thought, looking around nervously. 

Coach Nekomata handed Kai the Vice Captain a sheet of paper, peering back up at the first years with a calm gaze, assuring them that it would be totally fine if they made it or not. "If I call your name, please step forward." Kai grinned, flipping the sheet of paper over, he began to read out the names. 

"Tai Haruka, Inouka Sou, Teshiro Tamahiko, Fukasawa Masanobu, Shibayama Yuki, Saito Mori, Yao Kaneko." Shibayama sighed a breath of relief as he took a step forward, bangs gently resting against his forhead as he looked anxiously at the vice captain. 

"We will now begin the elimination round, it is fine if you don't make it." Kai grinned. "Inouka Sou, Tai Haruka, Shibayama Yuki, Saito Mori, Teshiro Tamahiko." Shibayama felt his heart beating at 100 beats per second as he looked back at Yao, who was silently exiting the gym, clearly upset. '𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘶𝘺, 𝘰𝘩 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘴,' Shibayama thought calmly before Kai flipped another sheet of paper before he looked at the remaining first years 

"Teshiro Tamahiko, Tai Haruka, Shibayama Yuki, Inouka Sou." Shibayama took another step forward peering gleefully at Inouka, giving him a grin. "Inouka Sou, Teshiro Tamahiko...and the final member of the team is..." Shibayama held his breath, crossing his fingers, he looked fearfully at the vice captain who clearly knew what he was doing, "...Shibayama Yuki, that concludes our final selection thank you very much." 

Shibayama let out a breath of relief before being greeted by hugs and cheers by the 2nd and 3rd years and the new members of the team before Kuroo broke the cheery tension. "Alright, alright, congratulations first years, state what position you want to play on the team and we'll do it." "Inouka Sou, middle blocker!" "Shibayama Yuki, libero..." "Teshiro Takahiro, setter." 

"HUHH YOU PLAN ON REPLACING KENMA AND YAKU SAN?! A 2nd year screamed, he had a mohawk that was dyed blonde and a terrifying exterior, "Yamamoto, chill out, don't scare the poor first years away." Kuroo said sternly, a hint of anger in his tone. Shibayama looked at Inouka, "I'm glad that we're on the team together Inouka." "Me too." 

Walking out of the school, Shibayama brushed his hair behind his ear before he asked Inouka "do you want to come to my house? It's fine if you don't want to." Inouka looked at Shibayama, "sure, my parents aren't home until 7 anyways." "Well, it is Friday anyways, oh look there's my apartment." Shibayama muttered, looking at a tall building that appeared to be a skyscraper from Inouka's perspective, "woah, that's huge." 

"Well, my parents are pretty rich, but they are rarely ever home at all, maybe at least 2 times a week they are home." Shibayama said timidly, rummaging his backpack for a key. Riding the elevator, Shibayama was awfully quiet, it was like he was keeping a secret from Inuoka, occasionally Shibayama would glance at the brunette, always looking like he wanted to say something but was too afraid too. 

Oh well...Shibayama was too.


	3. Shibayama's Past-7th grade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new school year means new friends and teachers! How fun does that sound!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> S3lf H4rm (self harm) if you sensitive to this topic, this chapter nor story is right for you
> 
> enjoy the story

A brand new start at a new school, Shibayama was quite excited to have new teachers, a new environment, and potential new friends. Looking at his new schedule, he realized that he didn't know his way around the school completely. "Um...what?" Turning the sheet of paper around, he was relieved to find his locker number quite easily '#250...' 

Turning around, he started to walk along the halls as he cautiously peered around the corner, praying that he wouldn't get jumped by 8th or 9th graders, he had heard that they were scary. '𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥...𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦.' He thought, finding his locker number, and twisting the combination lock "1...4...5...6?" He was delighted when he heard the locker pop open as he stored his textbooks inside his locker and his jacket too. Looking to his side, he noticed that there was another person next to him, it was a guy and he was quite tall, almost half a head taller than him. Yuki stood at 5'2.4" at the age of 12, and that guy was at least 5'4" 

Noticing someone staring at him, Nagisa Chuuya turned around, "hello?" There was a shorter guy with a side part who seemed to be around his age, snapping out of it, Shibayama got embarrassed, "ahh! I'm so sorry! Uhm...!" Nagisa gave off a cheery laugh, "no worries, lots of people like to stare at me because I'm so attractive, what's your name?" Shibayama looked over his shoulder before looking back at Nagisa, "S-Shibayama Yuuki, I'm a first year." He muttered softly. "Nagisa Chuuya, I'm a first year too, I hope we can be friends." Nagisa smirked. Shibayama gave a slight nod before the warning bell rang. "See you soon Shibayama~" Nagisa calmly said before taking his leave too. 

The opening ceremony was quite boring with the headmaster going over the basic rules that every student should follow before going onto after school club activities. Shibayama wanted to do Volleyball since he had played Volleyball a little bit in his last year of Primary School with his old friends before parting ways. As he headed to lunch after his first 5 classes, he realized that he had nobody to sit next to. "Oh..." He was about to head into the hallway before he heard his name being called, turning his head towards the sound, he realized that it was Nagisa and he was sitting at a table that was already mostly full, '𝘰𝘩 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯, 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴' He silently muttered, walking over to the table as Nagisa and another girl scooted over for him. 

"Hi Shibayama-kun." Nagisa said, not really making eye contact with him, Shibayama gave a small greeting before a girl started talking, she was pretty. Eva had short black hair that reached her chin, a thin figure, and glasses. "Damn it Chuuya-kun, already one day and you made 4 new friends, I'm losing already." She playfully slapped Nagisa's shoulder before she giggled, "I'm Eva Fukawa, just call me Eva Shibayama-san." She giggled. 

"Oh ok, thanks." Shibayama said, why was Nagisa so eager to have Shibayama sit next to him and Eva? "Are some of these people 2nd and 3rd years?" Shibayama curiously asked, Eva smirked as she leaned in closer to him, "yeah duh, we're the popular kids, we gotta have a little from every grade." Shibayama was seriously confused, what did she mean by that? Taking a bite of his food, he realized that it tasted like literal dog shit. 

"Ooh yeah, this school food sucks ass, don't eat it." A 2nd year muttered, clearly disgusted. "I recommend that you go buy a egg waffle from the shop outside of the school, tastes way better than this shit." A 3rd year yelled from another table, making the Cafeteria go a little bit quieter than before. After school, Shibayama decided to visit the main office, politely demanding for a Volleyball Club sign up sheet, retrieving the paper, he decided to get on the bus and head home so he could make dinner for his mother. 

Shibayama's mother was very loving and tender, but she was gone quite often, coming home at 6pm on weekdays and 4 on weekends except for Sundays, his father was gone even more, coming home at 7pm on weekdays and 3 on weekends and 4 on Sundays. They were workaholics. Holding onto the spare key his mother gave him before school started, Shibayama pressed the numbers to his floor slowly, quite nervous to make a mistake. '𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘠𝘶𝘬𝘪.' He muttered to himself before twisting the key inside the keyframe, pushing open his door, he gave a greeting with no answer before he took off his shoes and set the form on the kitchen table. 

"Why was Nagisa so eager to invite me to his table, and why me, I'm clearly not 'cool' enough to be part of the popular kids." He muttered to himself as he sat on his bed, scrolling through his photos, he realized that he didn't really have anything to take cool photos of. Among a few months, he found that Nagisa's group was quite fun to be in, their jokes were extremely funny and they thought he was cool too." Shibayama really liked them, even though they'd hang out with him, but it was totally fine! 

Once in a while, Eva would say a subjective joke or two but it was usually dismissed with a few laughs and giggles. Shibayama also got Nagisa and Eva's numbers and was eventually added to a group chat with 12 others on Summer Break which Shibayama enjoyed quite a lot. Shibayama tried out for the Volleyball Club a few months back and was accepted gratefully. He became the libero and enjoyed being part of the team a lot. Even though it didn't give him the same elation as Nagisa's group. 

Sometime in the fall when the leaves were falling and Midterms coming up, Shibayama's mental health was put on a risk, school was constantly making him study for upcoming texts, not to mention his phone was blowing up due to the sheer amount of messages coming from that damn group chat. He then remembered that Nagisa told Shibayama that he had 2 group chats, the main one and the other one. Shibayama was in the Main chat...so does that mean he wasn't in the other group chat? Damn, now that kinda hurt him. '𝘯𝘰, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘯𝘰𝘸'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺.' Shibayama muttered to himself. Flipping the pages of his textbook, he was about to doze off before his phone buzzed again. 

𝘌𝘷𝘢: 𝘏𝘦𝘺 𝘠𝘶𝘬𝘪 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 Picking up his phone, Shibayama sent back another message quickly. 

𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘮𝘢: 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵 

𝘌𝘷𝘢: 𝘕𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 ...Huh? Shibayama froze, clearly upset, he knew that Self Harm wasn't a good thing to do, but why was Eva telling him to cut himself, did she hate him? And why was it Nagisa? 

𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘢𝘺𝘢𝘮𝘢: 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 Feeling his heart beat a little faster, Shibayama's mind started to be occupied with negative self-talk, trying to drown them out, Shibayama anxiously looked back at his phone. 

𝘌𝘷𝘢: 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺? 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦, 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘶𝘨𝘩 Shibayama got up, not thinking about the negative consequences that this had and grabbed the blade from the kitchen drawer, pulling up his sleeve, he made 2 lines across his arm, it really hurt as blood ran down his arms. But also it was like a release...it didn't help that he felt worse afterwards. "Oh fuck..." He muttered, cleaning the wound as he silently vowed that he would never do this again. 

Shibayama broke his promise 3 months later, he was seriously hurt by Nagisa and Eva who had left him out again and that he thought that they were secretly talking about him behind their back even though both of them denied it. The blade felt so good on his skin...the scars from 3 months ago were still there...still visible. Shibayama winced, tears running down his face, he gripped his bloody arm, he really needed to stop this, but it was normal right? Teens do this...friends leave each other out all the time, all of this was normal...totally normal. 

When he tried to confront both of them, the only answer he got was a "everybody likes you Yuki, it doesn't matter how you're feeling." Then why did he feel so...shitty?


End file.
